Job Interview + Vintriloquism = ???

Monday I had a job interview. I have to say that it was the oddest interview that I had ever participated in.

I had a suspicion that the job might be sketchy from the start. The posting online didn't tell me much about the company, but they had a wage that would hold us over for the time being until I can return to my other position. I had a sneaking suspicion that it would be a sales position (blech!), but they also said that there were managerial positions available, so I figured that I might be able to sneak in under the radar.

I reported to the appointed place about fifteen minutes early. The receptionist greeted me and informed me that I was early. Duh. I planned on being there early to scope out the place a bit.

I had to fill out some paperwork and bring a resume along (even though my resume was pre-screened through an online process). As I was walked back to another room, I head the sounds of laughter, finding about five other people who were probably informed that they were early. The room was relatively large, and there were about twenty chairs set up facing a big screen TV that rested on a raised stage. And there was a ventriloquist act on the screen. After I sat down, I noticed that there were boxes of things (which I am pretty sure are prizes for selling stuff) like knock-off Pyrex and Tupperware. There was also one of those money machines that fans the money around you when you try to grab it.

A woman who represented the company came to the front of the room and turned off the ventriloquist act. She apologized for turning it off, because one guy in particular was really getting into it. I felt a bit thrown off by having to have entertainment before an interview. I was here to work, not to be entertained.

She ended up giving us a spiel about the company (in which she really didn't explain a lot), followed by thorough instructions on how to pass the personal interview. Really? Not only did I have to watch a singing ventriloquist, but I also had to be led by the hand on how to interview? After about a half an hour, it was my turn to "shine" (her words, not mine) in the personal interview.

And to tell you the truth, I was a bit disappointed in the interviewer. She asked me three questions:

1. Have I been in the area long?
2. Did I think I could handle the work (which had not been thoroughly explained to me yet)?
3. Did I realize that there wasn't a lot of opportunities to learn new technologies (because most of my experience has been technology-based)?

Really, is that all you needed? I was dismissed and told to call back at a number that same day in about an hour and a half to see if I had another interview.

So I did. Surprisingly enough, I passed the rigorous interview process and made it into the second round. I could have told you that, because she ended up putting check marks and plus signs on the paper work that I handed to her as I was standing there talking to her. Those are pretty universal here in the States...

I'm heading back for another set of interviews/presentations today. We will see how that goes. I am not sure that I want this position—mainly because I don't think that this company (that focused on being an educational company) educated me enough to know if I want the job. The interview process is a courtship, not just a series of questions. If I don't like the answers (or lack thereof), I can easily back away. I'll let you know if I learn anything else about this company today that will let me know exactly what would be expected of me.

But on a good note, I know that they could use a professional writer. I noticed a few typos on the information that they handed out to me, plus it wasn't very concise...

Something Is in the Air

Last night I woke up to the moanings of Munchkin. I was in the middle of a dream that was quite entertaining, and I secretly hoped that I could re-enter the dream once I sleepily slid back into bed. Let me know if you have any interpretations on it.

I was in my parents' house looking at their split level staircase. I was getting ready for my wedding at my parents house—well, it was being pitched to me as my wedding. It seemed more like a wedding reenactment than my actual wedding. I was standing there waiting to get my tux, but all the males from my wife's family (father, brother, brothers-in-law, uncles, and cousins) were processing up and down the stairs while giving me advice. My father-in-law was holding Munchkin as he walked (which was part of the reason why I knew that it wasn't my real wedding that I was preparing for).

As they all talked and walked, I realized that my tux was hanging off the railing at the top of the staircase. The group tried to get me to climb into my tux while it was still hanging there. I caught on that this was a sneaky way of trying to kill me, thus leaving Wifey free to escape my clutches and not to marry me. I told them all that I needed to use the restroom so that the crowd would disperse.

They all left out the front door, and I went to retrieve my tux. When I touched it, I was transported into a car that was in an urban area of a city about the size of Portland. As I was driving along, time froze, but my car was still moving. I swerved to avoid a couple of frozen cars, but ended up having to pull over into a parking spot so that I didn't cause any accidents should time unfreeze.

As I got out of the car, I noticed a strange cloud pulsating in the sky. The cloud looked very cosmic, much like the pictures you see of nebulae. I started walking towards it, and after a few steps, I was hovering inside the nebula in space. I realized that the nebula was sentient, and it was recreating representations of Earth for me to try to recreate my life. I wasn't sure why this smart cosmic dust cloud decided to be doing all of this for me, but I started to try to communicate with the cloud.

Then Munchkin woke me.

I know$mdash;I have CRAZY (in all caps) dreams. But this is the first one I have had that stayed with me in a while. Any thoughts? If it is an omen that I am going to get a job, please let me know.

Update: And how does that fit in with this article I found today? ACK!

Pink Is the New Black

Or is it black is the new pink? I don't remember. I'm not up on my fashion statements.

Munchkin quickly picked up the term, "No"quite a while ago, but this week she has decided to add some non-verbal communication into the mix instead of just saying no. You might think that she would shake her head, or hold up a hand. Instead, she had decided to do something different.


Munchkin has decided that if she blinks at an incredibly slow rate (like three to four seconds for one blink) that she will be able to respectfully decline whatever you are offering or asking without having to tell you no. I was trying to give her a bite of yogurt. She has been wanting to feed herself with her own spoon (or sometimes by just diving a hand into the yogurt cup and sucking it off her cupped hand). We were in a bit of a hurry, so I tried to help her.

She responded by tucking her chin down to her chest, furrowing her brow, and blinking really slowly. I smiled and attempted to encourage her to eat the (slightly too) large bite from the spoon. And she repeated her reaction.

Now she does it all the time. If she sees someone who she doesn't know very well and they are trying to coax a smile from her, she blinks slowly. If she doesn't want to come over to you to get her diaper changed, she blinks slowly. If she doesn't like what you are saying, she blinks slowly.

It will be interesting to see how long it lasts. She is starting to learn new words, and enjoys babbling all the time, so it surprises me that she doesn't want to just use her words. "No," is one of the more frequent words in her vocabulary (surprise surprise for a fifteen month old). But for now, the slow blink is pretty entertaining.

The real headline should be Slow Blinks Are the New No.

Technology Savvy at 15 Months

Today I received my first unassisted call from Munchkin. She loves playing with Wifey's phone, and because Wifey's speed dials don't work as expected, she generally doesn't call anyone. I guess she was successfully able to navigate to my name, push the green button to call me, all while jabbering. When I started talking to her, I don't think she realized I was on the line, mainly because it hasn't happened before. All the button pressing gave me a hint as well. Either that, or someone was censoring all the baby expletives on my wife's phone, which would just be creepy.

Munchkin did know that I was on the line by the time she left though. She said , "Bye bye dada," before hanging up. So it is legit.

For being 15 months old, I think a fifteen second conversation is pretty good on the phone.

What I Wished I Had Seen Before I Interviewed

Kate just sent me this link. If only she had sent it one day earlier, I might have been offered the position on the spot yesterday instead of having to wait to hear back on whether or not I get a second interview! Especially the last frame...