Sprouting Wings

Today was a bit of an odd day. I woke this morning to my alarm, and in truth, I dreaded rolling out of bed. If I got out of bed, that meant that I would be heading to my last day of work for a while. I pushed my snooze button a few extra times, but ended up rolling out of bed and getting to work at a fairly respectable time. Knowing that the day could either be relaxing or emotionally draining, I rummaged through my sock drawer to find one of the last pairs of new socks from my Christmas present. I had recieved about 12 pairs, and I had a sneaking suspicion that one of those pairs still hadn't been worn. Never underestimate the power of a new pair of socks.

As I drove into work, I started thinking about the day. Is it going to be the last time I got to see those that I work with, or is it going to be the last time I see them for three months? The answer to this question could drastically change how today goes. So, as I pulled into the parking lot and clipped on my name badge, I felt no different than I had on Friday when I walked through the doors.

I got to work to find that my coworkers had (once again) made a little potluck. In my anxiousness, I forgot to pack a lunch, so the potluck satiated me nicely—homemade cheesecake, chocolate-coconut bars, and fresh chips and salsa. If you eat the cheesecake and chocolate-coconut bars at the same time, you get quite a yummy taste going.

I was also told that I would need to leave by noon because my supervisor needed to be elsewhere when I was planning on leaving. He told me that he would pay me for the rest of the day, but that I needed to leave.

This put my day completely out of whack. I started frantically trying to get everything taken care of. I had a few loose ends that I was planning on tying up today, and it ended up that I had five hours less to get them all done in. Not wanting to dump any of these tasks on my poor coworkers, I frantically started typing. I got to a point where I knew I wasn't going to be able to finish everything by 11:30. So I asked my coworkers to decide which of the two options are the lesser of two evils. They chose one, and I ran with it.

About 11:15, I was done with my task. The other task that was left could be taken care of piecemeal, so I started looking into the requests. By about 11:30, my supervisor started hovering around my desk. Thinking that he wanted to hurry me on my way and kick me out, I started to release the requests back to my coworkers. I told him that I was releasing these items, and he said, "Oh, no rush. I have a few things that I am going to wrap up over at my desk, and then I'll be back."

Then why were you hovering?!

I fired off another quick email, hoping to have it finished by the time he came back. Another success! Today has turned out to be pretty good. I get to go home early, get paid for a full day's work, completed a lot in the daily piecemeal work (although I didn't completely knock everything out of the park), and I could go home and surprise Wifey and have lunch with her (since I had forgotten mine).

I got up to get a quick drink, and realized that my supervisor was heading my way. He asked me to come chat with him in the other room just as one of the people that I work with was coming up to wish me well. I asked him to hold on, and that I would be back. I offered my suggestion of chocolate-coconut cheesecake bars, and trailed my supervisor out of the room.

He informed me that too many people on his staff had heard that he was going to pay me for an afternoon that I didn't work. So he was going to be returning around 4:30 to come collect my things. After laughing when I told him that I was planning to work until five, and working really hard to get everything done in the condensed time frame, I was staying all day after all.

And the kicker comes when he told me that he didn't want to get fired for giving me an afternoon of paid time. This man was telling me that he didn't want to lose his job as he was letting me go for a furlough.

So, I returned to my desk, accepted my well wishes from the waiting coworker (who didn't take my advice and ate only cheesecake), and picked back up everything that I had reluctantly released to my co-workers. Looks like the afternoon was not mine, and that it really was too good to be true.

With all that being said, I was reminded of something that I was thinking about as I lay in bed this morning. I got thinking about the persistent pain in my upper-middle back that comes from tight muscles whenever I get stressed. After knuckling it for a bit (as best you can in the middle of your back), I got to thinking about how I felt like I had gone through a rigorous workout the day before (which if you didn't know yet, I clearly didn't do with my gym track record). I got to thinking about what kinds of exercises would cause that type of pain. The only logical answer was flying.

I realized that, if I had wings, that would be where they would connect to my body (assuming that I wasn't more like Hermes with ankle wings). So instead of taking this furlough as a bad thing, I decided that I was going to take it as an opportunity to figure out some things in my life. Now is a good time to figure out what I want to pursue for a Master's degree. Now is a good time to write more. Now is a time to pursue my hobbies. Now is a time to hang out with Wifey and Munchkin. Now is a time to learn new tools to make me more valuable in the work place. Now is a time to get all the items off my honey-do list.


So instead of taking the time to feel sorry for myself, I figure that the pains in my back are there because I am sprouting wings. I Who knows where they will take me? I hope you will stick around for the journey.

Remembering Gramps

Here is a man who spoke four words to me over the course of time that I knew him. When I was at his house one time, he asked of me, "You been here before?" Even though this was the only personal message I have received from this man, I still learn from him quite frequently.

Five years ago, he passed away. Wifey's grandfather left quite a legacy. When we spend time with Wifey's grandma, conversation naturally goes towards the good times she had with Grandpa. When we talk about parenting with my in-laws, tales of Grandpa come up as well. But I see a lot of Grandpa in my father-in-law. They each play the banjo equally well.

Here's to remembering Grandpa, who in his last days ate only black licorice.

I Feel...

A new video caught my attention on TED today, so of course I started perusing other content because you can't watch just one TED video without finding something else that looks riveting as well. From a various string of videos that all started with a ukulele, I ran across this one (that is kind of long, but good) by Jonathan Harris:



I liked the first part best. I have been looking for a way to find bloggers who I might be able to connect with online. I want to find blogs that are meaningful to me. And this tool offers a unique way to visualize this type of information. You can connect directly with the blog to learn more.

I went out to the site to test it out, and the We Feel Fine project works as expected. I was a bit surprised that I didn't have the option to select Boise, but both Meridian and Eagle were in the list. I guess Boise doesn't have a lot of bloggers who discuss their feelings.

Now it is story time.

We had a great farewell luncheon yesterday that was arranged by two of my co-workers (and fellow contractors) that was very nice. We had a large and varied group come and take a lot of time out of their normal day to wish me well. I was surprised at first to hear that 17 people had RSVPed. In fact, I felt quite flattered that so many would join us. Sadly, there weren't very many from my the company that is forcing me to take a furlough (including my direct manager).

I had a manager from another company that I work with contact me to wish me well on my hiatus. She told me that a lot of her employees were talking about my furlough and saying really negative things about it.

I have been quite bitter about this furlough. I have worked very hard to make myself valuable to this company, and for thanks I get a kick out the door for three months. I have come to a realization that this isn't a reflection on me, or on my work—this is a reflection on managers who see me as a title and probably don't even know my name (unless they are familiar with the famous singer from the 80's). The reflection on me and my work comes from the fact that I was invited to return after my furlough. It makes the horse pill a bit easier to swallow.

To tie this all together, I got thinking about the end of the video. I got thinking about the mythology that would be around me by using the new Universe tool. I felt like I had been feeling like my own little planet was having quite the violent upheaval while the rest of the world went on. And to an extent, that is true. But by hearing that the group of authors I work with have been up in arms about this vindicated me. By explaining my furlough, I have found many people who are willing to look for positions for me, including some who are trying to pull strings and break the rules. We'll see if anything comes of it, but for now, I know that this moment in my mythology reaches far beyond me. It might not have the impact that it needs in order for me to find a position, but I can be hopeful that it does.

Something Is in the Air

Last night I woke up to the moanings of Munchkin. I was in the middle of a dream that was quite entertaining, and I secretly hoped that I could re-enter the dream once I sleepily slid back into bed. Let me know if you have any interpretations on it.

I was in my parents' house looking at their split level staircase. I was getting ready for my wedding at my parents house—well, it was being pitched to me as my wedding. It seemed more like a wedding reenactment than my actual wedding. I was standing there waiting to get my tux, but all the males from my wife's family (father, brother, brothers-in-law, uncles, and cousins) were processing up and down the stairs while giving me advice. My father-in-law was holding Munchkin as he walked (which was part of the reason why I knew that it wasn't my real wedding that I was preparing for).

As they all talked and walked, I realized that my tux was hanging off the railing at the top of the staircase. The group tried to get me to climb into my tux while it was still hanging there. I caught on that this was a sneaky way of trying to kill me, thus leaving Wifey free to escape my clutches and not to marry me. I told them all that I needed to use the restroom so that the crowd would disperse.

They all left out the front door, and I went to retrieve my tux. When I touched it, I was transported into a car that was in an urban area of a city about the size of Portland. As I was driving along, time froze, but my car was still moving. I swerved to avoid a couple of frozen cars, but ended up having to pull over into a parking spot so that I didn't cause any accidents should time unfreeze.

As I got out of the car, I noticed a strange cloud pulsating in the sky. The cloud looked very cosmic, much like the pictures you see of nebulae. I started walking towards it, and after a few steps, I was hovering inside the nebula in space. I realized that the nebula was sentient, and it was recreating representations of Earth for me to try to recreate my life. I wasn't sure why this smart cosmic dust cloud decided to be doing all of this for me, but I started to try to communicate with the cloud.

Then Munchkin woke me.

I know$mdash;I have CRAZY (in all caps) dreams. But this is the first one I have had that stayed with me in a while. Any thoughts? If it is an omen that I am going to get a job, please let me know.

Update: And how does that fit in with this article I found today? ACK!

I Wish You the Best

As my time is (too) quickly coming to a close at my current job, I keep getting people who are sending condolences or trying to tell me to keep my chin up. These are generally people who I have developed a good relationship with who are sad to see me go.

Most of the people who are employed as full-time employees of the company I work for say something like this:

I wish you the best. But we would love to see you back in 100 days.

Call me crazy, but that isn't wishing me the best. If I am returning in 100 days, I am still a contractor. I still don't have benefits. I still don't have a company that matches any funds I put towards my retirement. I still don't have income for over three months. I still don't have a company that will help me get my Master's degree.

And I could go on.

But then I got this email from one of the authors I work with. This is all it said:

Hey, I heard about your 100-day leave of absence. Silly rule in my book. Hope you find a better job at 3 times the salary during your furlough.

Take care

Signed

Call me crazy, but this guy is wishing me the best a whole lot better than any of the full-time well wishers. So, in case you hear about anyone in my situation, feel free to give them the latter response instead of the first one.

Learning in College

My dad was big into education. When I say big, I mean he got his Ph. D. and worked as a professor of education teaching instructors how to teach better big. By the end of his tenure, he was in charge of placing all the potential teachers for elementary and secondary student teaching. He served on academic approval committees across the state of Idaho to make sure other colleges were up to snuff when offering their programs.

This being said, it goes without saying that he did a lot of reading on education and the decay of education in the US. There was a big push to save money for businesses by outsourcing jobs to other countries where the labor was cheaper. It quickly became ingrained in me that the only way to get ahead in life was to get an education.

I took a college course between my junior and senior year in high school and came out alright. It was a history course, and I got an ice cream cone out of the deal from the teacher when he canceled class to head to the bar, so I was fine with it.

Then I landed in college. I had looked forward to this day because I felt like I had been coddled through high school. I never studied and was able to pull off A's and B's without a problem. I got one C in Chemistry because I told my teacher that I wouldn't do the same math homework for four days in a row after I had the concept down.

I felt repeating the same problems with different variables was a waste of my time, and so I spent my time the first day doing my work and learning the concept of how to do the math problem, and used the other days for more productive things. He decided to try to teach me a lesson by making homework super important in the syllabus, but when I ended up getting A's on all my tests, he realized I had learned the concepts, but wouldn't budge on the syllabus. So I got a C.

He never really answered my questions that I asked in class either, which at the time seemed odd. I even asked after class. His excuse was that he didn't want to confuse the rest of the class. I think he just didn't know the answer and didn't want to look dumb in front of his students.

I was a bit disappointed when I got in college. I got into a bunch of general courses that were pretty much the same thing as I had seen in high school. Sure, there was an improvement in the pace of the information that was being presented, but I didn't feel like I was being challenged.

So I floundered.

In fact, I floundered through ten majors (chemistry, vocal performance, music business, math, psychology, chemical engineering, mechanical engineering, computer programming, English, and finally technical writing). I got into classes, hoping to find something that really engaged and challenged me. By the end, I had gotten married and decided that I just needed to buckle down and choose a profession, so I stuck with technical writing. I wasn't particularly engaged by the lower division courses, but once I got into the upper division ones, I found that I enjoyed myself. I started to like learning.

That is why I was particularly interested to read this article in the Economist about the new book, Academically Adrift: Limited Learning on College Campuses. Here are some stats that piqued my interest:

45 percent of students "did not demonstrate any significant improvement in learning" during the first two years of college.

36 percent of students "did not demonstrate any significant improvement in learning" over four years of college.

Those students who do show improvements tend to show only modest improvements. Students improved on average only 0.18 standard deviations over the first two years of college and 0.47 over four years. What this means is that a student who entered college in the 50th percentile of students in his or her cohort would move up to the 68th percentile four years later -- but that's the 68th percentile of a new group of freshmen who haven't experienced any college learning.

Students who study by themselves for more hours each week gain more knowledge -- while those who spend more time studying in peer groups see diminishing gains.

Students whose classes reflect high expectations (more than 40 pages of reading a week and more than 20 pages of writing a semester) gained more than other students.

Students who spend more time in fraternities and sororities show smaller gains than other students.

Students who engage in off-campus or extracurricular activities (including clubs and volunteer opportunities) have no notable gains or losses in learning.

Students majoring in liberal arts fields see "significantly higher gains in critical thinking, complex reasoning, and writing skills over time than students in other fields of study." Students majoring in business, education, social work and communications showed the smallest gains. (The authors note that this could be more a reflection of more-demanding reading and writing assignments, on average, in the liberal arts courses than of the substance of the material.)

 This really rang true to me, because I didn't start really getting engaged in my studies until I was a senior. I started researching topics outside of class and bringing them up in class. I found topics that weren't covered in the syllabus and asked about them during class discussion. I wanted to know more because I had a purpose of getting a job, and it drove me to want to succeed. There were people who were coddled through college, just as they had been through high school. I didn't want to be one of those people.

I was glad to see that people are starting to debunk the myth that if you get a Bachelor of Arts that you are not going to be able to get a job. I have one in English, and granted, I am losing my job in a little over a week for a short amount of time, but I see things in my organization that other people with an MBA don't see because I definitely had a liberal smattering of all sorts of topics in college. They stretched me in ways that I didn't think that they would, and I learned from those experiences. And learning to write has been a great springboard for other things.

This brings me to a quote by Albert Einstein that I like.

If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself.

Granted, not every college professor is a great orator, but if you can't explain concepts to your students, it might be because they are like my high school chemistry teacher or my college business teacher. Mr. Einstein has called their bluff.

So, for those noble people who have decided to teach for their occupation, please take the time to engage your students. Make them read. Make they write.

I had one business teacher that understood how important it was to write. She taught a leadership course that I took as an elective. She asked the class to go around and give a brief introduction including your major. When I stood up and introduced myself as a technical writing major, her eyes lit up. Before I could finish, she embarrassed me in front of the class by saying, "This is the guy that you all should be sitting by. He will pass the class with a good grade because he can write well." She knew that I could assimilate information into something that others could understand and use. And it gave me hope for the future that I wouldn't be pushed out of the workplace by all the business majors.

Foo

After many emails and contacting multiple people, I finally heard back from the company I was interviewing with. And it was a negative response. After months of careful planning, the stars would have been magically aligned and I would have been offered the position just in the nick of time, but I learned that recently the Zodiac signs were changed, so the stars weren't aligned as I thought they would be. Silly astrologers. Don't they know that they are messing with my ability to feed my family?

This means that I am back at square one. In exactly two weeks I won't have a job, and at this point, there are no promising prospects. If I need to, I'll go get a job at McDonald's or something. I am hoping that it doesn't come to that, but there are mouths to feed and bills to pay.

So now I start applying to all the positions that I qualify for, but would be just a job instead of a career—secretary, office assistant, peon, etc.

The bright side of things is that we only need to survive for three months. The position I currently have will still be here for me when I am done with my 100-day break. The bad news is I have to find something to fill my time and pay the bills in the next two weeks. In case you know of anything or hear of any positions that are focused on writing, editing, the Internet, or computers, please let me know. I'll take what I can get, and am a surprisingly quick study...