Sunday, March 13, 2011

The Worst Alarm Clock Ever

First off, I just want to say that daylight savings is evil. Now that that is off my chest, I'll get on with my story.

Last week, Wifey and I were peacefully slumbering when we were both rudely awakened by a very annoying noise. It was repetitive, loud, and would go on for longer than 20 seconds at a time. The alarm went off for about five minutes. And it was a duck.

This dumb animal decided that it wanted to be a rooster for a day and perched itself right above our bedroom window. It was barely light outside and the duck started quacking. And quacking. And quacking. It made me really want to own a gun.

Last fall, we came home from a walk to find a duck couple hanging out on our roof. We went inside, and before we could get a picture they flew away. I considered them our guardian ducks. It seemed like a good (if not odd) omen.

I don't know if ducks mate for life, but if this guardian duck has returned looking for his lost mate, I would encourage him to seek out another one in a different location. She's gone. Get over her. Reminiscing about old times where you used to hang out will only bring pain.

And duck, if you come back, I'll have to take more drastic measures than staying in bed with a pillow over my head.

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